20041031
hey guys! i dyed my hair red! The whole thing was really complicated, but it ended up as a good job! well well, it was my mum who did it.hehe, shes a professional hairstylist, and so she could just grab some colours from her own salon and bring it back home. Hmmm...lets see the process
Had my first colour on the saturday night, well it was freaking red. It was my fault i guess. I was suppose to wash it off after 45 mins of applying the dye solution on my hair, but i forgot! In the end, I washed it off only after 1hr 20 mins, causing the hair to turn REAL RED. I Walked out of the bathroom, headed towards the mirror and i saw a transformed gangster there.
I wasn't satisfied with the way it looked, so my mom applied on the so called 'Copper colour' dye on my hair. and some 'chestnut colour' dye to even it. Well, I dunno why Vidal Sasson named this colours using some weird objects, when the colour of the dye doesnt even tally.
So.. with this hair i went to church on Sunday morning, as expected, my friends were making fun of it...calling me gangster and stuff -_-' ohplease! haha...well well, at least i received compliments too :D, was glad that they said it was not bad. lolx.
Hmmm...well enough of the boring details about my hair. I woke up early in the sunday morning, as i was supposed to go to church. Unfortunately, I had a bloody uncomfortable and painful sensation on my throat when i just rose from my bed. Seems like i have aggrevated my bloody sore throat, oh... no.. i forgotten to took my medicine yesterday night[howlame]. I had no choice but to skip service for that day :(
Well, my initial plan was to stay at home, rest, computer and study. However, they seem to be force of attraction pulling me to church! Tthough church is once a week, it plays a very crucial part of my life, it brightens up my week, and gets me closer to Him spritually.
Well well, I got dressed up for cell group session later on in the afternoon, but I left house early at 11, to chill out with my church friends. Sam was really late for his cell too, so we shared a cab and for the first time he shared cost with me. In the past its alwaes been me who was paying the fare!!! lolx. this time we shared cuz i am realli realli realli realli broke now. As expected, everybody noticed at my hair, the first moment i stepped in. I guess it was too glaring to ignore :\
Today's cell was at geri's house! had a really fun time there! Faith covered a few topics which I have mostly forgotten, but one thing that I could vividly remember is...we have to struggle in life... in order to be a better person and be closer to God.
Struggles...
Struggles...
I must said that even at this age, there indeed have been lots of struggles in my life... Struggles in dealing with love...friendship..and especially my injuries. Many of the times, I went mad, throwing and smashing things in my room...i asked myself again and again..why did this all happen to me...why must it be me! why me! there seem to be no end to it... its tough for me to carry on with this life...with all blades cutting through my flesh, leaving a scar that never healed even after a year. I just want a simple and carefree life...a life where i can hold a book without any strain or pain in my wrist, a life where i can stand on both feets without feeling pain...I can't even enjoy such simple pleasures in life, i struggle..in life.
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perhaps looking from a brighter side...He has a purpose for putting me under all this grueling tests... perhaps he wants me to give up on my track...and focus on more important things in life? Well..its true...if I hadn't got my injury...theres no way anything can stop me..from putting in 110% of my life effort to break another record. And that was the reason for my injuries, over training. I know life is not all about track.. it isn't...but thats my passion..something that i love and thirst for..perhaps I have to go against my desire and what i want...and accept fate..
true enough..i learnt alot...all these experience in love, friendship and track, have carved a more definite, and less misty path for my future. Perhaps thats the reason why I am a good advisor...haha.. ya..cause i have been through lotsa shit. Life is short..really short.. cherish it. You dun have time to make all the mistakes in the world to gain experience..
Do it the smart way, learn and listen from the mistakes of others, learn from my mistakes, never do it again, this is a form of experience too.
posted @ 9:18 PM
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well its getting rather late now..12.08am..haha..i aint feeling very good today, physically and mentally. Well, cuz I had a bad sore throat yesterday which literally sucked up my lifeforce, unable to speak freely and feeling extremely irritated, man its an experience u dun even want to dream of. Still i struggled to training yesterday, feeling sick and exhausted and as usual...doing nothing but rotting and some teaching.
The guys and gals from church were suppose to help out in the St. Marg's Funfair Carnival today, well..I couldn't make it as this would definitely worsen my current condition. So I stayed at home, studied a bit and played some counter-strike with my friends. I realised that it was the Haloween period, yup....
Well something happened today that just disrupted my mental state.
..well quite badly..but for some reasons i shall not blog it here, as who knows whether people know about this blog.
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You have something unhappy about me, come up, confront me, and say it in my face, and face your upcoming consequences.
Dun be a bloody whimp, to do this behind my back, and a second later, you wear ur old mask again, pretending that nothing has happened.
And when would I say all this?
This is when you have unknowingly, foolishly left your footsteps behind.
I am a fuking human being with the ability to analyze, think and feel! I know what the heck is going on, I have thousands of means and ways to clarify my doubts... you can't hide in that mask forever.
I blame you for nothing...nothing that u have done to me, BUT i curse you for being a coward with no balls.
If you are reading this, and you have done the above shit, stop hiding under your freaking mask. I dun care what you done, I just hate that stupid mentality of yours.
wake up ur idea and put urself in the position of others, or else...or else..
You're on you own.
posted @ 1:07 AM
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20041027
today was such a lousy day. I mean yeah, really lousy. I woke up at 7am in the morning? yea. late for school. However, i still continued to fool ard the house, deciding whether to go to school or not, as today was the usual end-of-term activities which i could not take part at all due to my injury. the programme was 7.40 to 9am movie screening,9am to 12.30pm bowling, before its time to get slapped back to home.
Well, I would have pon the entire day if not for an overdued library books. It totally makes no sense that the school is DEMANDING everyone to return the books by today, or else offenders will not receive their report card on friday, and if you are absent from this lamo end-of-term activities, u gotta produce a stupid MC too or else u wunt get back ur report card too. What a dumb act, they are using our report card as a threat when there is no clear logical link between the cause and consequences. damn wang shu.
Well i went to school, i told myself i can't play, so i requested to stay at the library, however my teacher wanted me to tag along and rot while they play. LOLX. Well in the end we all went to Cathy Bowl, fortunately it aint that stupid horrendous super bowl, the lightings, the floor tiles and the balls juz make u feel sick with all the dents everywhere. Yup yup, so i tagged along, but the temptation to play was too great, well so in the end i juz went on! and guess what! got 5 strikes and 2 spairs inclusive of a turkey! i bet i beat all the four classes! yea!
well...the bad thing is..my wrist felt a bit weak though...sigh... its been a yr. my once precious and gold platted arm is just history.....
Yeah..oh ya..my braces..
Omg i juz feel like slapping the world outside down. The pain and pressure is driving me crazy in the night, lolx..u can see the scratch marks on my bed left behind yesterday night, cool isnt it! well, yesterday was the day i just put on my braces, and in the evening!! two metal bracket just came off like that! i mean wtf!! some ppl didnt even came out during the whole 2 yr process, and mine came out in half a day! u can't imagine how pissed was i, I had to go back all the way to Singapore Dental this afternoon, for a five min treatment and yet i waited for hours and hours juz for my bloody queue number.
Sigh hadnt been going trng for the pass 3 daes. Mon I went for the chinese physician, tues i went for the braces and at the same time transform into a zombie who will rot when come into contact with water or sweat(becauz of the chinese medication), and todae i went for a re-braces juz to fix the 2 bracket! ~@$?~ i dunno how to explain to my coach, if I were him, I would have doubted anyone who give such a reason. Well, I am one who value trust a lot. It takes years to build my trust... and just a minute to break it.
Well..frankly speaking..the only reason i am coming down for my training is perhaps because of my juniors? I can't run, jog, throw, do weights, and even pump...I cant!! I CANT!!! i can only go down and coach and talk rubbish to them, though i tried my best,i just cant teach them well enough...i lack the confidence i once have...and without confidence the battle is already lost. At first when chen was the only throwing coach, I could go down and watch over my juniors with ease as he is unable to look out for 40 pupils with 2 eyes. At least I was satisfied that i could be put to some use as a member of the track team.
Well.. a few months later Guo came, he is also a very good coach, who have a really kind heart. It isn't his fault...it totally isn't his fault, but with him at the field..all i felt was a sense of loss...I could no longer teach anything useful any more. The technique has changed, chen no longer needs a second pair of eyes to watch over the junior.
Sitting in a corner... I watch my teamates... endure through the grueling moments, united as one. This has been going on for months...and almost a yr...was I happy? was I...no...no...I was filled with envy...and disappointment..and sadness.... i just can't accept the fact that I have became a shattered guy now...
Difference is something that humans cannot endure...they just can't..and i can't too.. i once climbed up the ladder...to the top of the ladder..the highest where no one of my age have reached before...and...i fell..a terrible fall..all the way down...shattered into a million pieces...
it just isn't far...i put in all my fucking heart and soul into my training!! everything i had! my life! my studies! my everything!! I train 7 days a week! home and school,rain or shine! i gave it all to training...why has it got to be me who gets injured.!? its just unfair!! fucking shit! UNFAIR!!!what did i do to deserve this God...why can't those lazy bums... be the one who receive such punishment....hiy..i dunno..but i hope You have the right intentions...I believe you have a reason for all this..
posted @ 10:22 PM
1 comments
20041025
well, i decided to write another entry again, how amazing right? Perhaps I am just too lazy to update my blog everydae, well ya noe, it takes a freaking lot of time. If u ever feel that this blog layout is abit "girlish", lol, well this blog was designed by EvA Chan!!!! not me. She does all the layouts, and that spoilt tagboard, and i juz add entries and stuff yup, without her i wouldn't have been writing this crap, right eVa!? haha.
todaE was quite a boring dae indeed, though there wasn't any lessons, the sec 3's had to assemble in the auditorium, watched a 1 hr movie which was totally full of shit, and there was a talk by this woman, well forgotten her name, who spent 3 full hours talking about grooming. I kept my ears and eyes wide open throughout the whole session, but 3 hrs was realli far too long to endure. Nevertheless, it was better den the same old poon shi lessons, where teachers put u in a semi-hypnotic state, only to turn back and scream at u for not listening to them. Education is planly stupid and messed up. I mean if you want ur students to listen to ur lessons, u gotta find ways to capture their attention! Total fools! i tink my grandma can even teach better den these losers!
Well, back to the grooming seminar. It was actually a very fruitful and enlightening session, and she was a rather good speaker too. Unfortunately, they are juz too many immature FOOLS, making a stupid fool outta themselves in the freakin auditorium, talking a whole load of bull crap, making stupid animal noises, trying to attract attention. I could even see how pissed the lady was, but she juz kept quiet and went on.
As you have known, Chinese High have established a "wonderful" reputation among students frm all kinds of schools in singapore. Well, i dun see any error in their judgement. Its juz this bunch of good for nothing monkeys tat tear down the reputation of the school. Until we slap these monkey asses back to Africa, Chinese High will forever live up to its "magnificient" name.
Later in the afternoon, I attended this lecture on entrepreneurship. It is a lecture for all those going for the new zealand trip from 6th of Nov to 19 of Nov! Yup! Cool aint it! And its combined with St Nicks, St Marg's and NanYang. So..why did i chose to go for the trip?
Well...i am currently a shattered and injured fool. If i would have not been injured, i would most probably be in track working out everi single minute, aiming for the next record, well the dream is already a history now.......
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Sigh.. back to it. Well.. i have been thinking for so long during the times where i just sit, rot and cry for my mistakes made in overtraining...perhaps i shld be more farsighted and study real hard now, be a sucessful guy in future. Strangely at this young age, money as such a huge drive for me...i dun wanna juz be a millionaire, i am aiming to be a billionaire.
An enterpreneur is something I definitely aspire to be. My dad and mum are one now, but they are just small mediocal ones, aren't as big as those multi-multi-millionare, billionaire entrepreners. I just love being a boss, like my mum and dad, you can just leave the office anytime, anywhere, do something else and yet money still flows in frm the pipe.
yeah..i will be that, except that pipe is gonna be much freakin bigger, 10 times, 100 times! haha..and i will donate a big portion to charity and the rest for my family :D
As singaporeans, if you guys have read the above paragraph, you must have thought that i have been possessed by some kinda insane dog or monkey...haha...
the truth is...goals are something very personal, its you who set it, not your mum ur dad or ur grandfather. And it is your goals that you set that will keep u focused and create hopes and opportunities for youself. You can strive to be the richest guy in the world, or aim to get to outter space, its not against the law nor is it anitink to be ashamed off!
You have nothing to lose by setting an audicious goal, even if you fail you will fall back on ur target.[a simple analogy: if i fail to be a billionaire, i might fall back and be a multi-millionaire, and its still good! :)] But this is where u noe, that u realli have tried your best. If you just work like a retard for your examinations, without setting a goal, and just tell urself to do your best, oh please stop deceiving yourself, you noe u didn't. YOU DIDN'T! You will just get lost in the middle of your revision, be stuck there, blame urself at the night before the exams, and take your exams the next dae, sounds familiar? The brain is a complex and wonderful piece of shit. It can only work well if it clearly knows which direction you are driving it to. Without goals, you are allowing ur brain to go -------------------------------------------> to waSTE.
BELIEF, CONFIDENCE!!
is a belief and absolute truth? well,amazingly its the ABSOLUTE TRUTH. Your brain is such a powerful tool, you can manupulate it in anyway you want. You can force yourself to think anyway you want. Ever seen fools who have done something wrong, but would act as though he's completely innocent? or have u been one urself? haha. this is because they have even cheated themselves right from the start. Injecting the image or impression that he or she was innocent to the deepest inner core of the brain, LOLX. And it works! you never give yourself away haha...
phew what a long entry, gotta go ppl bye!
sorry for the poor language or grammar, i was rushing!
posted @ 10:26 PM
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20041014
Hey Guys! its been a billion years since i ever wrote an entry! well i guess its the holidaes now so I shld spend some time here writing crap as often as possible, yea.
i dun have much time todae, i juz saw this personality test, hmmm i found it rather accurate actually!
You are Artistic, Carefree, and sad. On the
outside, you are funny and sweet, caring and
loving. You are flexible and get along with
everyone most the time. You pretend to be
stupid sometimes just to have a laugh. However,
deeper inside you, you are very artistic. Music
is your passion, your life. You have opinions
on lots of things, and wonder 'Why?' and 'What
If?'. You have a passion and talent for the
arts. Most people dont get this side of you.You
arent depressed, just sad and disapointed with
the world. You're incredibly open minded, as
well. But none of you is fake, you are just
very well rounded. You aren't oblivious to the
pains in this world like most people are, but
still at the same time dont spend all your life
with a frown on your face.
What's Your Personality?? (YOU CAN GET MIXED!) very detailed...(now with pics) brought to you by Quizilla
posted @ 10:36 PM
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